Break Time at Fangtasia
by Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands
Summary: Pam really hates this show. Eric finds it amusing. And the new bartender is just full of interesting tidbits about Harmony Kendall, star of MTV's Harmony Bites. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or True Blood. And I am making no money off this fanwork.

A/N: True Blood setting is pre-series; Buffy setting is post-series. While I was writing my Kitty Norville x-overs, I couldn't help but wonder how other 'verses would react to Harmony's reality tv show that we learn about in the Buffy season 8 comics.

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><p>Pam stared at the television with a certain amount of disdain. She was wearing the same expression she gave the humans who drooled over the cheap latex costume she wore at the door. Thankfully, she didn't have to deal them tonight. No, tonight, she was briefing Eric's newest employee. The vampire was new to the community, and not exactly ready to bend to the politics of the area, but it had been easy enough to hire him on at Fangtastia. Apparently, he thought it was hilarious that he was soon to have a paying job. And, as Pam understood it, his charming cockney accent and high cheekbones would be a nice reward for the female customers.<p>

Pam could give a shit about the vampire or his appeal, but they needed a new bartender, and if he brought in more business, all the better. Most importantly, his arrival meant she didn't get stuck doing the job. Currently, he was cleaning up the main floor, getting rid of the last few stragglers while Pam...Well, Pam was quite delighted to be doing absolutely nothing in her office. The only thing that would have made the breaktime better would have been a quiet, succulent young beauty to nibble on.

She kicked up her thigh-high boots and flipped through the channels on the television, passing up a few infomercials and news segments. After a moment, she landed on MTV, drawn to a stop when she saw an infamous face splashed with the channel logo. Some peppy announcer was giving what amounted to 'hot news' on this network and showing clips from past episodes of the 'hit'.

"Eric," she said, with a slight growl,"that show was renewed."

Eric was at her door in the blink of an eye, but anyone who saw him would have assumed he'd casually approached her office at a stroll. "_Dr. Sexy_?" he asked, head cocked in interest.

Sometimes Pamela didn't understand her maker. "No, the _other _annoying one, the vampire reality show."

"The one on MTV or Bravo?"

"Guess."

"_Harmony Bites_," he said, a small, mocking grin on his face. "One of your favorite shows if I'm not mistaken."

"You _are_ mistaken," Pam replied, and then sulked as she watched the perky blond vampire on the screen insist that 'undead people are people too', then went on to talk about shoe stores discriminating against undead people by closing before nightfall. "That little bitch," Pam said, unable to stop herself from the familiar tirade, "still claims that she started the vampire movement. That she caused vampires to come out of the coffin. She couldn't even successfully murder Andy Dick, and she wants credit for something that took years of research and planning to pull off."

"She did help raise public sympathy when she outed the Slayers," Eric noted, playing devil's advocate. "Perhaps you're not giving her enough credit for her role. I was told True Blood's early release was at least partly her fault."

"Quit bullshitting me, Eric," Pam said, frowning. "And I would have preferred if the slayers had made a martyr out of her."

Pam heard another vampire's quick approach, but she didn't acknowledge his existence until he scoffed at her television.

"I can't believe that bleedin' idiot's getting another season, can you? You'd think Clem would've put a stake in 'er by now. Tried it myself once; didn't stick, unfortunately. If I'd known she was going to take over the telly, I would have tried harder."

Pam and Eric both turned to stare at the other vampire, but Spike only shrugged at the attention. "My ex," he explained, nodding at the screen.

"You've got to be kidding," Pam replied, in her usual cool tone.

Eric smirked, enjoying himself far too much. "You don't say?" he contributed.

"My rebound. Just got out of a fairly intense relationship with my maker." Spike reached into his pocket, pulling out a cigarette, but the look on Eric's face left him putting it back into his jacket, unlit. "By the way, if you want to have some fun with her, I got her mailing. Send her a big pretty box full of broken unicorn figurines, and you'll get to watch her cry in the next episode."

"Unicorns?"

"She is what she is," Spike excused. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll be off for the night. See you lot tomorrow."

"I like him," Pam announced, after he'd disappeared.

Eric raised a brow. "You do know he's been watching _Passions_' reruns on your television during his break?"

"No one is perfect, Eric."


End file.
